The Split-Brain Journal

👓 Bay Area Sightings

• Peter Thiel was spotted with blood-stained fangs hunched over a pale corpse at dusk in Dolores Park. Save some for the rest of us, Pete!
• Roy Lee left an upper-decker in lieu of payment at Copra (for the sixth time). Fellow diners that encounter Lee out to dinner are encouraged avoid his series C pitches.
• The silhouette of Corey Quinn was identified atop Salesforce Tower. Eyewitnesses reported hearing screams of warning about managed NAT gateways audible from street level.
• A portrait of Theo Browne was found with a luxurious, well-manicured mustache in an alleyway behind an Apple store. A Dorian Gray situation has not been ruled out.
• An unidentified software engineer was found staggering down Market Street dressed in a lobster costume jibbering to himself as "The OpenClaw BDFL". He has since been elected to the San Francisco housing oversight committee.
• Dax Raad was sighted hawking a new scalp care product for "bashfully confident baldies" outside of my apartment building.
• Mitchell Hashimoto has independently funded a new software development academy called "The HashiCademy for OSS Contributors Who Can't Read Good". The lowest 10% of students are ritually sacrificed to a flaming Vouch effigy.

---